… Some days, it rains.
He hears the crack and the hushed roar when the ball finds the gap and he turns and looks, a few steps from second, and sees it and the rightfielder converging near the track and he turns hard, planting his left foot and he looks ahead, now, as the relay slides together like a suit [...]
I was born a poor black child. (Full disclosure: By black, I mean thoroughly white. Like … Crayola white crayon white. There are undiscovered cave-bound tribes in Norway that have never seen the light of day who upon seeing me, would acclaim, “Uffda! Look at the white guy!”) I remember the days, sitting on my [...]
1. Law and Order reruns: Yes, somewhere on the globe, there is a TV station showing a Law and Order rerun; the sun never sets on Dick Wolf’s creation. But the show has everything I could ever want: mystery, courtroom scenes, sardonic humor, plot twists and Jerry Orbach. And you don’t need to have watched [...]
We’re sorry, Jose Bautista. You’re Not Brady Anderson. We can’t believe we even suggested it. Meanwhile, Philly is pitching exactly like everyone thought they would. Elsewhere, as mandated by the Constitution, another Florida Marlin flirted with a no-hitter. And then another. The White Sox rolled over and died — in April. Mo Rivera blew back-to-back [...]
People smarter than me call it noise. A statistical sample needs a fair amount of data before it can be considered accurately. Translation: When you don’t play many games, you get some weird results at the start of the year. I’m a big Law of Averages guy. Two minutes into an NBA game, I’m fond [...]
It’s too easy to bash Bud Selig. And, honestly, I want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Mocking him is too easy. We could note his rumpled appearance. He doesn’t look right in a suit, but I can’t picture him wearing anything else. As long as he has clothes on, it’s safely [...]
No Pepper has a new recurring series, brought on by a new technology. In Major League, remember all of the newspaper covers you see bemoaning the Indians’ losses or heralding their victories? No Pepper is proud to bring you those stories. Rick Reilly brought you the season preview. Now Joe Posnanski updates us on how [...]
OK, Brian Wilson’s Beard. We get it. You are the alpha and omega. You are John and Paul. You are Quentin Tarantino before he fucked up and started making unmitigated horseshit like Death Proof. When the star was born from the 2010 World Series champions, you shined out of the womb. You comprehensively bitch-slapped all [...]
Vin Scully. No color analyst. Thank God for the MLB Extra Innings package. I tuned in as I was beginning to type up these rankings. I just wanted to hear Scully call the game. When I was in Duluth, Minn., I would tune in to hear Bob Uecker do a Brewers game, but only if [...]
Please repost this as your status if you or someone you love just had his or her month ruined by something called Bilateral Fucking Leg Weakness. It’s about awareness. We all have thousands of wishes, but sufferers of Bilateral Fucking Leg Weakness have but one wish: Not to watch Son of Sal hit .180 for [...]