This bullshit has gone far enough. I won’t let it stand anymore. I’m tired of taking shit from everyone, so I’m going to shout it from the mountain top. I’m going to go all J.G. Wentworth “It’s my money and I need it now!” on the world out of my third-floor brownstone window. I’m not [...]
Author Archive - sebastian
(I’ve Been) Searching For The Perfect Walk-Up Song
Posted 6 May 2011 by Sebastian WashingtonTagged As: Chicago (band), Peter Cetera, Walk-up music | Categories: Soft rock | 1 Comment
And remember that $105 million contract extension we always wanted? Well, we got that too
Posted 28 April 2011 by Sebastian WashingtonTagged As: Bud Selig, Corey Hart, Mark Attanasio, Milwaukee Brewers, Rickie Weeks, Ryan Braun, Yovani Gallardo | Categories: Nouveau Riche | Leave a Comment
I was born a poor black child. (Full disclosure: By black, I mean thoroughly white. Like … Crayola white crayon white. There are undiscovered cave-bound tribes in Norway that have never seen the light of day who upon seeing me, would acclaim, “Uffda! Look at the white guy!”) I remember the days, sitting on my [...]
Brian Wilson’s Beard Vs. The Czars Of Russia
Posted 18 April 2011 by Sebastian WashingtonTagged As: Alexander Nevsky, Brian Wilson, Catherine The Great, Charlie Manson, Countess Praskoya Bruce, Dusty Baker, False Dmitry II, Ivan The Terrible, Jun Horde, L'Eprouveuse, Lenin, Mother Russia, Nicholas II, Pablo Sandoval, Quentin Tarantino, Rasputin, Ted Kaczynski, Tim Lincecum, Vasily IV, ZZ Top | Categories: Holy crap, Metaphysics | 2 Comments
OK, Brian Wilson’s Beard. We get it. You are the alpha and omega. You are John and Paul. You are Quentin Tarantino before he fucked up and started making unmitigated horseshit like Death Proof. When the star was born from the 2010 World Series champions, you shined out of the womb. You comprehensively bitch-slapped all [...]
A DDH By Any Other Name
Posted 13 April 2011 by Sebastian WashingtonTagged As: Dane Iorg, Scoring At Home | Categories: Hanging Curves, Moneyball | 2 Comments
The “Who We Are” entry here at NoPepper.net declares the following: “We are over the damned designated hitter, though. Do shut up.” Heh, heh. Suckers. There was once a time when the designated hitter elicited the kind of emotion usually reserved for ward-style politics and debating your significant other about the merits of that sex [...]